Reply To: Physical Aggression


No, you’re not alone in this. So glad I saw this post, because it so applies. My Son is 12 y/o with ADHD and on Concerta. While my Son has not gotten physical in any way, he has made an enormous change and not for the better. I can only attribute this to his hormonal changes as he has developed very quickly. The trigger I see in him is whenever I say NO to something he wants. Could be a game he wants, a meal from a restaurant after I’ve cooked or something that I think he’s not ready for yet. More recently he wanted a cell phone. Other triggers are when I ask him to do daily things such as bathe, do homework, go to bed or lower his voice or change his attitude as he has become quite rude in his responses, as well as cruel in his remarks both to me and his Grandmother. While I understand from other parents that at his age, the changes his body is going thru may explain some of this, it does make it difficult for a parent to control certain situations, especially when you’re a single full time working parent who has an elder parent to also deal with in the home. This is all made worse when he spends time at his Dad’s house every other weekend where there are no rules and he is allowed to do and have mostly everything he wants. This directly contradicts his daily life in my home where there is routine, rules to follow, chores, responsibilities as well as rewards when they are deserved. I find my Son has become very manipulative as well and often puts parent against parent, knowing that it will cause an upset. I’m trying to work with his Dad to find a happy medium, but my Son’s behavior makes it very difficult to find peace and harmony in the home and make our time together enjoyable. I have tried making my thoughts known to him and when he goes into a frenzy, have walked away to avoid conflict without having to back down as a parent and that seems to work and once he figures out he’s not going to get his way, he does apologize, but that doesn’t last very long and I find it’s just a manipulation he uses to try and finesse what he wants out of me even though I’ve made that decision already and then it starts all over again. He does things on purpose to annoy and upset those around him. My next step is to find a good child/adolescent psychologist that may hopefully help all of us during this very difficult time. Please know that there are many of us going thru the same exact crisis and sometimes talking about it to either a professional or others with similar issues, does help. Anyone who has any other solutions that have worked for them, please post here. Thank you !