Reply To: Can't wake him up!

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#64500
JoeG
Participant

I’ll bet you get another headache every time someone offers a solution with the sentence beginning, “Have you tried…?”. I know I get stressed when I seek advice after a prolonged period of attempted solutions and someone from the “outside” begins venturing. For example, as a caregiver and trying to arrest a bad scratching problem with my “charge”, I put together a chronological list of trial and errors to present to the next dermatologist or professional.

With that said, I offer something for you that has helped me, and I underline, me! I found I had to change my own expectations of others in order to deal effectively with employees, employers, family and especially now, my father who is 99 and has dementia. What an incredible and rewarding learning curve to enjoy the benefits of realigning my expectations of others. Please, understand the art of expectations of others and consider changing your expectations of him.

PLAN to take him to school; everyday. Expect him to want to sleep in. When he does find the way to make the school bus, isn’t that a great opportunity to find a suitable reward? No more fighting the inevitable. No more stress of preparing an unused “launching pad” beforehand. How ’bout his own peer pressure? How many students or friends know he can not make the school bus? What kind of ridicule or kidding does he face in school? Wow! Change his outlook of himself and your expectation of his performance.

In time maybe, and just maybe, he might perform a better behavior for the right reasons, but they must be his reasons. Tying incentives into performance is an old practice that works, even if that reward is a small raise done with a sincere recognition and maybe especially if that reward is love, respect and appreciation from family and friends.

I know all too well…. this writing simply helps me to reaffirm a practice I never want to forget. One that I failed miserably early and administered way late. I’ve got the grey hairs to prove it!

Two cents, but Much Regard for your continuing practices and honest communication, Joe