I took a new position to get out of a bad boss/work situation where my disability was ignored. I loved the work I did, and miss it terribly now, just not the work environment.
My new job, had never been ‘officially’ filled, and had no guidelines or standards to follow or go off of. I’m stuck trying to ‘interpret’ the guidelines and am frustrated because no one understands why I can’t just ‘create the program and make it my own’. I don’t learn from reading from presentations or online. I need to see it in action and have something to go off. Once I understand it, I can recreate it, but otherwise, I’m lost.
I have expressed my disability to my supervisor, to request reasonable accommodations (RA), only to be chastised for requesting too much and being compared to someone else that ‘just followed the guidelines and made it happen’. I struggle everyday with my disability and just wish I could crawl under my desk. I am searching for a doctor to finish my RA to my employer, but so far have been unsuccessful. I feel like a failure at work now, because I can’t ‘follow simple guidelines’ and stay focused on what tasks need to be completed until right before a deadline.
I can’t wait to go home at night because there, I’m not ‘disabled’ and I can just be the kooky wife and mom without any judgement.