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You said something really important here: “to make her follow our commands.” That’s authoritarian parenting approach doesn’t work with kids with ADHD. Instead, Ross Greene’s collaborative problem solving approach is much more effective. Here’s a webinar replay with Greene:
And his website, http://livesinthebalance.org offers lots of free materials as well.
As well, you cannot change behavior unless you know the reason behind it and you address that reason. WHY does she avoid writing? Is it because she has a learning disability in that area? Is it because it feels like a big and overwhelming task? Is it because she cannot harness the focus it requires?
Here’s what I did with my son when he was hitting classmates, and it completely stopped the hitting:
ADDitude Community Moderator, Author & Mentor on Parenting ADHD, Mom to teen w/ ADHD, LDs, and autism