Zweelz, Relax, you’re far from alone. Far from it!
I’ve been dealing with ADHD for more or less, roughly the same amount of time, but it was finally “officially diagnosed” about this time of the year in 1999. I’d just spent a week in a hospital ward, exhausted, ready to “check out” (before I was admitted, a-hem!), and my hospital assigned doctor frustratingly told me when I asked him, “Well, do I have ADHD, by itself or a mix?” His reply? I’m still chuckling with it 18 years later: “Buddy, you have ADHD in spades!”
Your life is crowded not because you have ADHD. It’s crowded and right now seemingly unmanageable because you have a lot of good to share at 57. I’ve got 9 nears on you, and I’m still here with plans to keep on staying “here” and as active as I can be even when things look like they’re going completely out of hand … but trust me, and your doctors, and most of all those who love you the most … your family when they tell you that despite all the crazies ADD or ADHD and the other stuff that comes with it, esp. the Bipolar — you’re a much fuller and better person for dealing with it daily, setting the example (however flawed you might view your example might be in the eyes ofothers), than so many other people who might have all that we have except the simple lack of courage helped along with a good sense of self-humor. (Listen to lots of Jimmy Buffett songs, that’ll help, too.)
Relax . . . you’re human and deserve the right to think of yourself that way, with all its imperfections and the sometimes positive exiting things that come with it. As for those non-positive things? Hey, relax on that too. If you take everything into perspective and context, in no time, you’ll start seeing progress in your life and not the excess confusion so many of us get bogged down with. Your life, even with all its whipsaw facets is worth infinitely more than than all the rest what you have to fret about that’s holding you back. Good luck. I’m confident you’ll see beyond just the negatives ADHD and ADD pack. There’s a hell of a lot of good we overlook, and you have that working inside you, too.