2weelz, you’ve described exactly how ADHD feels to me as well. I was diagnosed 7 years ago at the age of 44. Fortunately, I have found medication management somewhat helpful and don’t believe I would have been successful with my 7th attempt at graduate school without it. I’m now finding at the age of 51, my symptoms are entirely different than in my youth. I believe being post menopausal also plays a large role in the differing symptomology. I mainly struggle around staying employed, oddly enough an issue I did not struggle with in my youth. I’m truly a gifted therapist when it comes to client care and connecting with people, but I struggle horribly around documentation which is a required portion of my job duties and carries with it an ethical reponsibility as a clinician. I’m finding I am slower than my colleagues around navigating electronic health records, it takes me twice as long to do the same tasks, harder to formulate thoughts into coherent intelligent sentences, and I end up working longer unpaid hours. I know current corporate culture, other environmental factors, and my own work ethic (I just don’t do “good enough”) also contribute to sustainability, but despite my own training and knowledge in mental health it has become increasingly difficult to remain optimistic after hearing “maybe we just aren’t the right organization for you”. It’s so difficult to describe to another person what it means and feels like to have no concept of time. The closest I’ve come is likening myself to my dog; I don’t know if I’ve been in my kennel for 5 minutes or for an entire day…I don’t know if my master has been away for an 8 hour work day or a week long vacation! I utilize timers, schedulers, apps, and try to remain disciplined around all, but my impulsivity, hyperfocus, and inability to pull myself away from certain tasks continue to be symptoms which are seriously debilitating as an adult. I’m sorry I don’t have an answer for you. I mainly just wanted you to know that I get it and I understand the pain it causes you.
PS: LOL…I had to go back and edit this because there wasn’t a space between a “,” and the next word!
- This reply was modified 3 years, 2 months ago by Deanne.