My 9 year old has ADHD, ODD, PTSD, mood disorders so we deal with all kinds of issues every day. I never know what kind of day we are going to have. the best thing i can tell you is schedule, schedule, schedule. i literally have large cork boards on my hallway walls with everything that is expected as far as things that need to be done every day from hygiene to chores and school. and there are checklists for all of those tasks that he checks off and also a column for me to verify that it was done. If we have a good day where effort was put in then rewards are earned. If not…..then we talk about it at an appropriate time. This kid as a 4th grader can literally do the work of a 6th or a 7th grader but some days has trouble functioning at the level of a second grader if that. It jumps around that much. I just never know. And he will argue till you are blue in the face and just walk away. He just won’t quit.