I recently also got diagnosed with both.
Some symptoms of Autism spectrum disorder don’t fit me. For me it was really shocking to also got diagnosed with ASD.
But also some things started to make sense for the first time in my life. Especially that I enjoyed “feeling” how things work and how stressful it is to be close to other humans.
What I am not is good at things like math or science what is typical for ASD nor I have a lack of empathy.
I often felt people rely on me because I don’t like to be social but I like to work. In all my previous jobs I always accepted extra work. My superiors when I quit said they need to hire 2-3 people to replace me.
Now after multiple job changes (never fired) I started to wonder. Am I really doing such a big thing, or am I overestimating myself, maybe underestimating them.
I worked at the emergency service but the ambulance still drives out, I worked both passenger and cargo train driver but the trains kept driving,…
In my case I started to stop this feeling inside me and realize my employer, wife,… can do more without me then I actually thought.
Even if that is not the case, even if they can’t survive without me now, they will find a way to survive. That’s what humans do, survive.
My current (part-time) job is in a shop, we have half the staff of last year but >20% more sales. Not because our previous manager was bad or the new manages amazing but because we find new ways to survive.
I think (Of-course I can be wrong) you can worry less because they will find a way. But as a parent, manager, CEO,… It is important to continue to share our knowledge. Knowledge should be in the form as guiding them towards the solution, but not saying how the solution should be. That’s something your children can find out themselves. What would you learn the most from? Getting told you may have AD(H)D and be guided to a doctor, or just receive medication without more?
With the first case you can go home, study about AD(H)D and get extra information at a doctor what leads to a treatment plan.
While with the second case you will take the medication and the moment people stop pointing to the medication you will not take it.
-Be a guide to your children, help them but don’t let them rely on you
I think also with dementia you can prepare now with writing things down and putting it in a box. This box can contain all the knowledge you want them to have, about being a good human, parent, citizen, living organism, …
This can also be good for your own mental state to see things at a different perspective. And the moment dementia would make it impossible to still help them, this box can help them guide to new things. Maybe not exactly how you written it down but open their minds.
Lastly, take care of your body and fight against a certain mindset.
If you think constantly about “I soon will have dementia”, it is probably going to happen soon.
If you think about “this year I will become the most healthy both mentally and physically in a decade ” then you can work for it and make changes.
Have a morning routine with physical exercise, drink plenty of water and expand your brain by study and reading. Avoid bad things like alcohol, smoking/smokers, people who think negative, chemicals like chemical sprayed vegetables and chemicals for cleaning.
It is not because your DNA says you are more likely to have dementia or cancer or drug abuse that you need to accept that. Fight it and do everything possible to prevent it.
My morning routine is waking up, drinking big glass of water, bicycle (2-3km) to my farm to open greenhouse then I go back home to prepare my child for school. After that I go back to my farm, Harvest and delivery to the vegetable shop.
This way I refreshed my self with seeing my dream, do physical exercise and be social at to my customers. This is my way to start the day of fighting my own negative feelings that I have about myself because of ADHD and ASD. My enemy is depression and isolation. Find a morning routine that can help your enemy (dementia).
Or maybe I am thinking crazy or misunderstanding your question,
Happy to hear feedback