My son is 15 now but did the same. I started promoting honesty by saying if you tell me the truth now, there won’t be punishment. It works. I then talk to him about why he should not do what he did and just as important, what the proper choice would be. I talk to him about how to think through the choices, since he lacks executive functioning. It teaches him how to think. I then also remind him that I love him no matter what, that he can always tell me the truth, that the lie adds to the problem. It has taken a while bit I do see the change. It works! It also helps that he is a bad liar so he really can’t get away with it!
Disrespect is a deal breaker. It’s time for “lose what you love”! No Ipad, cell phone, etc. for 30 minutes. Continuing to act out adds time — 5 minutes for every comment. Now you can sit in the room with a pen and paper to occupy your time (writing assignment: “I will speak respectfully to my mother” 15 times? He hates writing). Maybe a day with the electronics locked up in the car’s trunk. Never cave in because it will just be harder next time. You have to make him see being respectful works better that being disrespectful. Wait for him to cooperate and point it out, thank him, hug him and tell him you are proud.