Reply To: Should I tidy up after my 14-year-old son?

Home Welcome to the ADDitude Forums For Parents Organizing Your Child Should I tidy up after my 14-year-old son? Reply To: Should I tidy up after my 14-year-old son?

#59747
Penny Williams
Keymaster

You should not pick up after your children. Yes, it’s easier (especially when they have ADHD), but the only thing it teaches them is if they avoid an unpleasant task long enough, someone else will do it. It creates learned helplessness.

Instead, you want to give him the tools and support he needs to clean up his room, but he has to do the work.

Put A Stop to Household Clutter Once and For All

I’m Not His Maid!

It’s fine to tie privileges and consequences to getting his room cleaned up. That adds the motivation lost by the fact that the task is not interesting to him.

One thing that has helped us is to do a quick tidy each night before bed. That way, the room doesn’t get so out of control that the task seems insurmountable.

Penny
ADDitude Community Moderator, Author & Mentor on Parenting ADHD, Mom to teen w/ ADHD, LDs, and autism