Oh honey, speaking from the experience of a 57-year-old, we only get what we expect. So if you believe you are damaged goods and can only attract other damaged individuals that is what will happen. I wish you could take time to nurture your relationship with yourself, without a boyfriend in the mix. It would be great if you could afford a good therapist who can help you learn to understand and love yourself and believe in yourself so you can see that you can change the course of your own life and the people you accept into it. I believe you truly can and that you do not need to be taking care of these challenging. Much love and luck to you.