Well thank you everyone for your replies. I had a happy childhood with my parents. I had an abusive boyfriend when I was 17 and then married a man with schizophrenia which after his breakdown shortly after we met, he remained on medication and he didn’t have another breakdown until 10 years into our relationship from a loss of a child. I am now with my current boyfriend with addiction to marijuana and probably has adhd which I can’t believe I am with someone with another severe mental health problem. I must be attracted to men who are a bit different because I feel so different, having depression and low self esteem myself all my life since my first abusive boyfriend. I mostly fear the emotional/mental pain that I will go through if I decided not to go back. Also the fear of not trying everything I can to fix him. I think I can only do that until I put myself through splitting up. We are now currently waiting on an appointment from the psychiatric nurse who he agreed to see to get diagnosed and go on medication which may help him come off marijuana. What massive mountains are to come. I don’t believe I will attract someone more stable as I am hyper sensitive person and have trouble being around people and keeping jobs etc. And by my track record, will probably just pick up someone the same as my previous boyfriends. So I don’t look forward to the future and I hate my current situation but I guess I’ll see how the GP route will go and if it will help ease things.