Reply To: Can my boyfriend get better or shall I leave him?

Home Welcome to the ADDitude Forums For Spouses & Loved Ones Can my boyfriend get better or shall I leave him? Reply To: Can my boyfriend get better or shall I leave him?

#59002
mamualvin
Participant

I you do try to get back together. Consider giving him an ultimatum. Until he’s properly diagnosed, if he’s like me, he will never believe in the possibility of getting better. Just tell him that he is going to have to get the help he needs to change or he doesn’t love you enough to get through all the crap even normal couples have to deal with. But if you’re not willing to make him get help so there’s a chance he could treat you as you deserve, then in addition to his issues, you need to reevaluate how you feel about yourself. There is nothing wrong with having a zero tolerance policy when it comes to any type of abuse. Without honesty, respect, actually listening and being willing to change to be a better person for yourself and your partner, I don’t think you’ll ever find true happiness with him or anyone else. You sound like a really caring person. If it takes all your caring to deal with him, it will hold you back in being able to be there for others. You can’t fix him. Unless he is willing to get help and can make progress, you really should ask yourself why you are willing to settle. I didn’t know how to think until proper treatment. I just couldn’t focus. Not really at all. But since I’ve been getting better I am becoming quite a different person. You must keep that in mind too and accept the fact that if he does get better and change, you might no longer be compatible. The old saying “there is someone for everyone” isn’t true. On a planet with more than seven billion folks, there are several guys out there that you could find true happiness with. Demand the treatment that everyone deserves. Who ever you are with, make him treat you like a person, not a commodity.