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Have you ever asked her what love means to her? How she needs to feel loved? What she needs from you, to feel loved? If you have never felt that from her, there is probably a deep-rooted reason why. She may love you deeply, but she may not know how to show you. This may be her blueprint for what love looks like, due to her upbringing or past experiences. Love might even equal pain to her in her mind, that physically giving/showing love scares her to death. We all want to feel connection and love with our partners, but we want it on our terms. When somebody doesn’t give it to us on our terms, it becomes a problem and we put up walls to keep from being hurt. Communication is crucial, and that can be so difficult for an ADHDer. It can be difficult for their partner as well who feels neglected and as though their attempts at communication were never validated. Maybe your wife has communication problems as well. IF discussing this openly is too difficult, write it down. For years, the only way that I could get my husband to hear me, was to write him letters telling him how I felt, and then it opened the door for discussion.