I have been married to a person with adhd for over 20 years and he was just recently officially diagnosed. We have wasted so many years struggling with our marriage. I have felt so lonely sometimes that it was hard to believe that I had a husband. I have known for many years that he has ADHD but he was incredibly resistant to any diagnosis. I think I stayed in my marriage for our children. He is now on meds but refuses to get any coaching to help with life skills. He has lost several jobs which has caused tremendous stress for me. His relationship with our kids is up and down. I am willing to try to forgive him for all the hurt he caused denying this issue and work to repair our marriage but he has got to be 100% committed. You def need to give your wife lots of time and space but also show you can be trusted. Do what you say, follow through on commitments, go on dates together, remember to pick up milk, a birthday, or her favorite dessert. Do nice things for your wife and do not expect or want anything in return. Keep doing this, weeks, months, years. Let her know that she can trust you again. My biggest blow was that I questioned how or why I stayed on a marriage when I was being treated so poorly, what was wrong with ME? Why did I accept this treatment. This is what I think about when I am alone, no answers yet. Your wife may be struggling with this too.