Congratulations on your awareness and for being empathetic to her hurt and disappointment. It’ll get better but it’ll be earned each day until the past is a faded memory. It’s hard for one with ADHD to even keep track of active healing necessary so use a “Marriage Meeting” on a regularly scheduled day that is the best stress-free day for both of you. Maybe Sunday? Maybe a certain weeknight that you can both steal away with distractions cleared. “Marriage Meetings” is when you use eye to eye & hand in hand contact and a NOTEBOOK (since you have to keep track!) and use the techniques shared in this book https://www.amazon.com/Marriage-Meetings-Lasting-Love-Relationship/dp/1608682234
Use an independent bookstore if you don’t like Amazon – I have no affiliation with the book or bookstore.
Any couple can benefit from this book but particularly if one has ADHD because it starts to repair the damage immediately through a process starting with appreciation and intentionally stepping you both through becoming active partners again. The NOTEBOOK you keep will show you both the progress you will make.
Wishing you happiness and love (again).