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As Joyce said, I would sit down with her and have a very honest discussion. Point out that you thought you were doing the best thing for her with the information you had at the time. You didn’t know she had ADHD. Explain to her your feelings and how you wish you’d known earlier, that you wish you had done things differently in hindsight. Talk about how you cannot change the past now, but you can work to understand her and support her.
Of course, she still has to work through her own feelings of regret and resentment, and come to terms with her past, in order to have a positive future.
ADDitude Community Moderator, Author & Mentor on Parenting ADHD, Mom to teen w/ ADHD, LDs, and autism