Hi Joy –
It sounds like you are asking yourself a lot of the same questions I have been. I was just diagnosed about a month ago, turning 40 this year, have 2 kids, and have been battling depression and anxiety for 20+ years.
Learning I have ADHD has been so eye opening but also difficult to accept. I too struggle with being the mom society makes me believe I should be, and while I am trying to have compassion and understanding for why I am the way I am it is also hard some days.
For me, the hyperactivity part is more about what’s going on in my brain. Sometimes I have several thoughts going on at once. And I think that’s where my anxiety comes from.