I can understand the feeling. I’ve struggled with “mental illness” (anxiety, depression, maybe bipolar, maybe a personality disorder) for nearly as long as I remember. I was basically suicidal by age 8, but because I was Catholic and sure God could make hell even worse, I stayed alive. After my diagnosis, it turns out SO many of my other problems actually stem from the ADHD. My anxiety is way higher when I don’t have my ADHD medication than when I do. And honestly, alot of the trauma and depression I experienced in my early life was from “not being good enough”, and being constantly chastised for not being able to do some things. I was very bright, a straight A student for the most part, but I couldn’t keep a folder or a desk or a locker or anything else organized to save my life. I was constantly told how I just wasn’t trying hard enough.
I found out now that my mom knew I was ADHD all along and still treated me that way. It’s enough to make me want to just burst.