I feel your pain!
I know I’m a mess and I’m trying to get better. I wish I knew if there was something I could do to make her want me. She never really has desired me in that way so I don’t know if it’s because of how I am or if it’s something else. No matter how calmly I try to broach the topic it always turns into an argument so I’ve given up. Things were like this before we got married but I love everything else about her so I just assumed things in this area would change but more than 10 years later, nothing’s changed. Needless to say, I oscillate between feeling like a piece of sh** because I assume this is all my fault and being mad at her because we can’t talk about it.