Home › Welcome to the ADDitude Forums › For Spouses & Loved Ones › HELP! Stuck in the Passive Aggressive, Spiteful and Vendictive Cycle › Reply To: HELP! Stuck in the Passive Aggressive, Spiteful and Vendictive Cycle
OK,this is almost exactly what I am currently going through with my husband. He has only recently been diagnosed with ADHD and deppression but the behavior has been going on longer. He was self medicating before. Now that he has officially been diagnosed and the meds are prescribed to him he feels like he is “fixed”. So any problems that we are still having mmust be because of some issue/problem that I have. He’s constantly accusing me or making comments that would suggest that I’m being sneaky or hiding things from him, but is never able to give any detail about what that might be. He says that I don’t talk to him about my feelings/what’s really going on inside me but If I raise any concerns or frustration then he says I am always blaming him for everything because I think I’m perfect and then starts telling me that I nees help because whatever I say isn’t the real problem and I’m in denial. He picks fights out of nowhere and then gets upset that I don’t want to participate in the fight. I really would like to have a honest coversation about everything that’s going on, how we both really feel, it just doesn’t seem possible right now. I admit that as time goes on I have become more shut down because I feel any type of interaction when he is like that is pointless. Anyways, I’m sorry that you are going through this but thank you for sharing. It’s always nice to know your not the only one going through stuff.