You are the best person for this child. I have custody of my nephew who is 3. Your struggle is real, but never doibt your abilities. You are providing him with everything in your power. I have had my little guy for almost 2 years now. His kother has given up 2 kids and the father now has 6! I have his half sister whomis also special needs and is 13. I feel like I need to be far away from my family as well. Welcome to what I now call box of chocolates. Anyway dont feel guilty for waiting on therapy. my little guy sounds just like yours. He was diagnosed with ptst, rad, severe anxiety,adhd and possibly even spd. I didnt know where to turn but I put him in play therapy first, then we talked aboutsleeping issues. Without meds he barely slept. I mean 2 hours total tops. Then our doc said to do a chewable low dose melatonin. its allNatural and non habit forming. Thisworked for a while. Then bam back to no sleep! Notcounting extreme violence. It got so bad we called the crisis help line 2 to 3 time a day for 5 days! Now doctore decided to do colonadine very low dose! This is a godsend! Again not a controlled substance we have no side effects and he now get 6 to 8 hours of sleep! Now for behaviors again doc did a liquid xanex low dose again awesome wonders! Agression is minimal unless hes in a meltdown. I was worried about his age ect, but I now cant imagine him going without it! REMEBER YOU ARE STRONG, YOU ARE AWESOME, and HE IS BLESSED TO HAVE A MOM LIKE YOU! THE RANDOM KOMENTS OF SMILES AND HUGS AND KISSES SHOWS YOU ARE DOING IT RIGHT!