It’s so important to grieve the loss of the parenthood you expected to have. You have to accept and validate your own emotions so you can be in the right frame of mind and with a positive outlook in order to really do your best for him.
It’s important, too, at this stage to recognize and accept that you cannot “fix it.” ADHD is a physiological difference in his brain. You can help him, with treatment and positive parenting and advocacy, but you cannot change him. It took me 2+ years after my son’s diagnosis to realize I was searching for an answer I’d never find, and I was going about parenting a child with ADHD all wrong.
Here are some solid next steps:
1. Make sure you’re getting treatment for his ADHD. The doctor can recommend some ways to help with sleep too. Without treatment, he cannot learn lagging skills and strategies to live well with ADHD.
2. Start working on behavior modification. This will teach skills he’s deficient in.
3. Adopt a positive parenting approach, focusing more on the positive than the weaknesses.
4. Read “The Explosive Child,” by Ross Greene. It will change your lives. 😉
ADDitude Community Moderator, Author & Mentor on Parenting ADHD, Mom to teen w/ ADHD, LDs, and autism