Reply To: Young Adult Transition


an update again: He’s not living here, he only stayed one night. He told me he was living with friends, but because of my connections in the community, i know they were living in the homeless shelter. WE offered to pay first month rent at an apartment, and he declined. They now living in income-based housing, with only his bf working. He’s not looking for a job either, nor checking into going back to finish the half a credit he needs for a high school diploma. Almost daily he calls the cops because someone is bothering him, won’t let him in his apartment, etc. He sold the vehicle we had bought him so he (they) doesn’t have one. We provide him a few groceries here and there when he asks. Today he told me via text message they were moving here immediately because someone is going to beat him up. We only live a couple miles away in the same town, and people know where we live too. I’ve had 11pm visits from not very nice people looking for him. He’s not safe here either. So I told him he’s not (we were out of town at the time) moving here. He’s left two places before for getting beat up (before he moved back to our town). Then he said i’ll be responsible for his medical bills when they almost kill him, or responsible for his funeral when they go through with it. he said something about him owing this threatening guy $500. He doesn’t have anything of value, so I’m scared that he is into drugs. I told him he needs to get his life together, and if that meant a hospitalization we would support him. (He hasn’t been on meds for over a year and he mood swings terribly all the time.) He then called me a f’n b and that i’m not a real mom, and he’s glad he doesn’t have to consider me family anymore. Then I blocked his number. He blasted me on faceboook. Again, blocked him. When he comes out of this depressive episode and tries to contact me, I don’t know what i’ll do. He also asked my parents to drive 200 miles to come get him and his bf. They declined, telling him to get his life together. When he’s ready to change, they will support him. I’m sure he’s also called my daughter and my brother-in-law. My BIL might bail him out, but I’m not sure. It’s the boy who cried wolf. The police won’t even respond to his calls anymore. He keeps getting into trouble with people and I can’t protect him anymore. He doesn’t have the resources to run this time. Tough love stinks. ADHD and Anxiety and Depression stink. I pray he sees the light of day and gets the help he needs. But he’s 19 now, and not a thing I can do.