Reply To: They called CPS on us! (Long… please bear with me)

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This is a great blog and great advice. I can completely relate to allot of this. My son is 11, ADHD and also on the autism spectrum. We live in a neighborhood that grew very quickly over the past few years, and there has been allot of bullying and some very difficult challenges and issues with neighbors and kids. It is so important to know who your friends are and aren’t, and not to care when someone don’t like you because you are standing up for what is right. It is also very important to make sure that your kid is protected from allot that might come his way, some of which he will be part of, and some of which he will simply get blamed for. I also had to make peace with the fact that my kid is going to kick up some dust, and he can be a real challenge to people who do not get high functioning autism or ADHD. My job is to protect him whenever I can from being bullied or singled out. And the rule is keep your hands to yourself, always, no exceptions, ever. I try to get all the kids to agree to this simple rule, and when they do, it is peaceful. When they don’t all hell breaks loose. The most important thing that I learned to do was to be extremely pro-active in protecting my kid from neighbors getting the wrong idea. I was advised to call the Sherrifs department and let them know my kid is on the spectrum, throws tantrums, and that at some point, they might get a phone call because he can bring the house down. This was the most challenging thing because I was mortified to have the police come to my house! I don’t wish getting the diagnosis of being on the autism spectrum on anyone’s child, but I have to say, for 5 years I was looking at any help for my son when he was diagnosed with ADHD, and very little was available in ways of protecting our kids in school, neighborhoods, from other adults etc. For some reason, allot more resources are available in this diagnosis and there are some very, very kind and brilliant people working in the field including some of the strongest, most dedicated moms and dads I have ever met. I will suggest looking into some of the agencies and info that is put out by some of them. CARD, Autism speaks, TACA, AIM, and also in your neighborhood for support groups (life saver). You will be surprised as to how much you can learn from these resources and the friendships you will build with other parents and kids that are like minded. It has been a life saver for us, and I have been able to bring things back into balance when it was really difficult with very mean people around me in the neighborhood. Now my kid has a few select friends, and the others know to not try and bully or intimidate him (especially the adults who can be some of the biggest bullies). You can do this, if you have your kids best interest in mind and you can work on mistakes, and not get lost in the sorrow or anything else that simply gets in the way, (like alcohol). You will be surprised at your strength and where the road leads you when you focus on what works and what is right and trust yourself and put your family and your child first. It is a proven fact that kids with ADHD does best when loved and supported. Blessings.