Dear friends, thank you for your input!
newtoadhd: I do agree with you, but I also agree with bec1124 and I don’t really see so much conflict between these two views: feminism and “whatever works”. When there is ADHD in the family, some accommodations might be needed, and that might mean that someone will get more than the “fair amount” of the mental load, and the one who gets it maybe the woman *or the man* (I am in the context of a man-woman couple because that is the context I am in). I do agree with bec1124 in the sense that trying to put rigidly into practice an ideology might not work for anyone. But I do aggree with feminism, etc.. It’s like the same with democracy: democracy works when there is more to politics than just elections… Feminism works when there is more to family life rules than just 50% – 50% division of labor…
I am thankful for cloudbreaks input, even though I have learnt to be more soft with people I disagree with, and specially when I am not even sure whether there is indeed any disagreement.
MrNeutron: I cannot really agree with anything you say because it seems to me that you and I do not agree on the basic facts. If two people disagree on the basic facts, I don’t think there can be much convergence of opinions. And I am sorry to say, but this thing of citing some book and, then, that’s it “here is an argument” doesn’t make any sense to me because there are books and books, some are good, others are bad, some are scientifically up-to-date, some are just a-historical and non-scientific speculation. Books that easily mix normative and positive aspects of history or some science without telling the difference are usually not really recommendable.