I read your post with complete empathy and compassion as I live such a similar life (sans children). I have been married for 32 years and still reel from the verbal abuse and threats of physical abuse often seemingly unprovoked and for no obvious reason. We continually are in counseling and my husband also takies Adderall. Today he actually became enraged during our counseling session. Like your husband, mine truly couldn’t survive on his own. I love my husband too and like you, feel at my wit’s end. After a while, I too feel so void and incapable of feeling much respect for him.
I wish you much peace and well being. Your post brought me comfort on a day that I sorely needed it.