Reply To: Can my boyfriend get better or shall I leave him?

Home Welcome to the ADDitude Forums For Spouses & Loved Ones Can my boyfriend get better or shall I leave him? Reply To: Can my boyfriend get better or shall I leave him?

#55186
Shirokuma
Participant

I have ADD with Asperger and I did improve since I went together with my girlfriend (now wife).
But it was very stressful for her and now it still is not easy for her.
After 4 years of hearing her say that I probably have ADHD and Asperger + a week where I caused 600$ of damage because of my forgetfulness I suddenly realized it.
During those 4 years she has been always very strict on me and kept me accountable what let me to improve little by little. What caused a lot of stress for both of us but very tiny improvements.
2 Months ago I was diagnosed and learned about my short comings what made me be more cautious about my bad behavior.
Deejay4358 said no man will every change for a woman until they are at the bottom, I disagree. I didn’t hit the bottom and didn’t lose anything, I just love my wife.
Just realize that it is very very very tough to create change for both of you and that you will be his closest therapist for the rest of your life.
Realize it will take big amounts of time and effort for creating small amounts of improvements. (yes, I call my wife a miracle worker).
But I must also honestly say, if I knew myself better when we met I wouldn’t have gotten close to her.
Everyday I am happy to see the improvements that I have made to be a better husband, but also sad how much trouble I have and still am causing my wife.