Reply To: Can my boyfriend get better or shall I leave him?

Home Welcome to the ADDitude Forums For Spouses & Loved Ones Can my boyfriend get better or shall I leave him? Reply To: Can my boyfriend get better or shall I leave him?

#55129
Gellie79
Participant

As one mentioned here, I am no expert but have done much research and as most responses say;this is definitely not ADHD! My son was diagnosed with ADHD when he was six. I had no clue what in the world ADHD was. I pampered my self with info from every source I could and your boyfriend may not only be bipolar but other things which come along with been bipolar. My husband was also diagnosed with hard-core ADHD. He had many symptoms which were not normal but never violent or abusive. He was the typical procrastinator, impulsiveness, forgetful constantly loosing/misplacing things etc. After many months of trying to convince him that his actions were not normal and that I highly believed he had ADHD, he went to a psychologist. At first most if not all Dr’s, psychologist, psychiatrist want to say it’s DEPRESSION, which in frustrating and infuriating. Yes, depression can be a result of untreated ADHD. When he finally found the right Dr (he’s in the army by the way)Dr. Immediately put him on meds and boy was that a change;like night and day! I did this one because I love him, two because we are married(in sickness and in health) and three for his own good. It has changed him a lot, in a good way. Of course, meds are not miracles and don’t cure all conditions because ADHD has no cure. I am glad I was able to convince him to get help. It has better our relationship, his life, his attitude even his thinking. Now, in your case this is your boyfriend(we’ve been married for almost 15 yrs) and any mental condition in most cases is lifelong, thus been a life long struggle and it’s hard. My advise is, walk away sooner than later. Before having forever bonds like kids, which will attach you to him forever. And if your children inherit his condition that’s 10Xs the struggle. There’s days when you just want to lock yourself in your closet and cry cry cry because you tried to get your child to cooperate and follow orders, rules; you try to discipline but they’re just what we would say defiant. But then I shape up and come to my senses because it’s not his fault. He didn’t ask for this, they cannot help it most of the times. When I do give him his meds OMG, totally a different child. Not the sedated, zombie couch potato people assume medicating children will be. Not at all, just calm, a bit more quiet and way more cooperative. So just imagine dealing with father and son’s ADHD. Not easy at all but meds do help. Best of luck.