Reply To: HELP! Stuck in the Passive Aggressive, Spiteful and Vendictive Cycle

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Thank you for your kind responses. I tried counseling it blew up in my face big time. He has this unique way of keeping his behavior behind closed doors and when i attempt to get relief he is able to shift and manipulate and make me look crazy. I have never really believed the ADHD diagnosis anyway, I honestly believe its a personality disorder or adderall psychosis due to high doses he’s been taking for years. He gets in these cycles that resemble that of schizophrenia. The outrageous and outlandish thought processes that no matter what someone does or says to try to bring him back to reality just causes him to entrench himself further into his delusions or react violently to any suggestion his brain is not being honest with him. At any rate it is self destructive and he actually thrives off of dysfunction. Its as if he needs it. The longest the household has gone without the crazy behavior is the 8 hours hes at work before and after it is full on nom stop harassment, bullying, looking over your shoulder, he actually sets his alarm so he can get up and bully and harass. The simple act of being able to get up everyday and do what normal households do like make coffee breakfast cleaning and even sitting down to watch tv is a struggle. I have been down that road with leaving and found out the family court system in my state was a joke. No matter what evidence i had to prove his behaviors were dangerous to my youngest, at the time she was three, they still insisted on his rights, his this his that Even during the separation i would find out incidences of neglect, had proof, yet they were convinced i was crazy and i realized he was able to manipulate a whole entire system in believing i was crazy. Once his attorney started trying to collect his fees all of a sudden the whole court thing stopped. I know being a martyr for my children is a stupid reason to stay but i feel it is the only way to protect them from not only him but the system. I have already decided i am leaving, but will wait toll my youngest is old enough to decide for herself her own life instead of being told where to live when and if she wants to visit with him. To Jae, im sure your father was doing the best he could in terms of his situation and i hope you have forgiven him for staying, as he figured the system would make things worse. I know they did for me.