Also, it sounds like you have some depression going on too. If you can get it diagnosed (just one doctor’s appointment) then you can attend a clubhouse http://www.iccd.org/whatis.html They are all over, so there is probably one in your city. They specialize in helping people with mental illness (which to me, ADHD is, but I think that you have to have at least depression as a comorbidity to qualify) in getting their lives together and gaining meaningful employment and employment training. It also gives you a place to go where other people understand. Look into it!