I never post replies on these forums, but I went through the same thing as your daughter and I felt I must reply! I was 13 when I was diagnosed when I was adhd, and in case 13/14 isn’t awkward enough trying to fit in, try getting certified as different! I still cringe to think of it now!
But there are some of the things that I wish I known then, that I now know: First of all, thinking different is GOOD! Heck, Apple even built a campaign around it! Speaking of huge corporations, did you know a high percentage of fortune 500 companies are lead by people with ADHD? Richard Branson, and Ted Neeleman are a couple of the heavyweights. Branson is adhd/dyslexic – Just like your daughter! 3 out of the 5 sharks on shark tank are dyslexic! Google these people! Branson and Neeleman are very open about it! Neeleman put tvs on his planes on jetblu because he found sitting on a plane to be unbearably boring! LOL! Also, some of the drs associated with the site are adhd/dyslexic! Moreover, many people with ADHD are highly creative! And we achieve greatness when we go after what we love! Athletics, Arts, Entrepreneurial, whatever! For some, medication helps us achieve goals. I wish I had known these things, to have role models I could identify with.
Another thing that I’m realizing, (and this is my personal opinion), that public or traditional schooling is a bit of a detriment to the person with ADHD. They have a very regimented way of doing things, and in my opinion, often school the creativity and yearn for learning out of students. Also, traditional school makes students who “think different” are made to feel, well, different and a bit ostracized. But I think that is easily corrected if you can encourage her to pursue her passions outside of school.
I hope some of this helps take the pressure off! It’s a hard thing to accept at her age. Just tell her to breathe and go after whatever she loves!
I hope some of this helps!