I am in a similar position and nearly took my life. I didn’t. Instead I took a leap of faith when I had nothing left and everything was bleak and I was broken. The people on this website helped me with kindness and compassion and good advice, we are all in this together. I am now getting help and people have appeared from the woodwork and have supported me with great compassion when I thought I was alone with it all. I am so glad I reached out for help as you are doing now. Help comes when you need it most. Even if youre not religious, pray with sincerity for help, beg if necessary. It will come, I promise.
I am still in a whole heap of trouble. But now my wife is helping me and I have a good doctor and good psych, Im getting meds and can see the light at the end of the tunnel, its enough for me to move forward and I feel I can make it now.
There’s a lot of good advice above. Try magnesium, before bed it will help you sleep. Go for walks and exercise, you must, it will calm you. Go to a church group, find a help group, charity, a new age shop, anything just reach out as much as you can. Good people will come, they respond to a certain sound, its called a cry for help.
Don’t give up. I will pray for you as others prayed for me. Someone once told me… If you are at the end of your rope, tie a knot in it and hang on!
One day at a time Amb, you can do this.