Reply To: They called CPS on us! (Long… please bear with me)

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So sorry to hear you are having such a struggle with folks in your new community. I’m not sure I agree with the poster who said your son might have PTSD and don’t want you to be alarmed thinking he does. You don’t mention any trauma he has experienced that would lead to a PTSD diagnosis. Also, the tickling games are developmentally normal childhood behavior, rough play, etc. Not so much for a 5 year old, but for the older kids. Our son is 13 and going into high school this year and has gotten into trouble over the years for things due to a lack of impulse control. Most recently was getting excited when a group of friends were rough housing and throwing a backpack at his friend, hitting his front tooth and breaking it. Our son felt horrible to have injured his friend and it was a sobering lesson in just how much he needs to watch his behavior.

What has worked best for us is mindfulness training for him – similar to CBT or DBT, it is a behavioral therapy that helps him interrupt impulsive behavior before something goes amiss. Talk therapy has helped him somewhat in dealing with his emotions and he went for a year and a half when he was about your son’s age but the mindfulness gives him simple tools he can use to help him in a range of situations.

And I most agree with the poster who said to remember your son is actually around 6 years old in terms of his social skills. I’ve told my ex-husband this many times and it helps him cope with our son’s behavior. Having supervised play dates at your house only and at homes where you know and trust the parents is key.

Lastly, having a child with ADHD is incredibly stressful as a parent. We also have a daughter with ADHD who is 9 so rarely get a break. What kinds of things are you doing for your own self care? Can you take a bit of time out each day in the morning and or evening to do something relaxing? I practice mindfulness myself, knit, and take time out away from the family with the door closed and a good book. Do you have close friends who can support you, hobbies, things you do apart from your family like hobbies, music or sports? Taking care of yourself is key when more is required of you as a parent.

Good luck and let us know how it is going!