Reply To: Mental Load, Feminism, and ADD

Home Welcome to the ADDitude Forums For Adults Getting Things Done Mental Load, Feminism, and ADD Reply To: Mental Load, Feminism, and ADD


I see this every day between my sister and brother in law, and to a point me. My sister has a full schedule, with working two jobs and volunteering at church, so she and I tag team the mental load. During the semester, when I’m in school full time, my side of keeping up with the mental load starts to have some challenges since I also work. Between the two of us, we are regularly cooking, cleaning, picking up after brother in law, everything that’s needed to keep the house running. Meanwhile, brother in law is working only one job and it can take a month, or longer, to get him to do the thing we asked him to do. It’s at a point where sis and I basically carry the load until we’ve had enough, and then talk to him, because it makes no difference. I think in this situation gender stereotypes is in play. Bro in law was raised by a single mother, yes he has ADHD, but his mom also did a lot for him, and wasn’t home much. I think that taught bro in law that women are supposed to do everything. But then he starts getting upset about never seeing sis. So that’s just another thing to add to the mental load, and something I can’t help with. Sis trying to keep track of time to make sure she’s home with enough time to spend with him, and then stay up late to finish up the chores. To get up early and go to work and keep track of the house the next day. And this is without kids, unless you want to argue our cat, dog and ferrets are kids. Which reminds me, we still need to get some sort of vaccination for both the cat and dog.