Reply To: Financial mess and shame

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I hope you have had the conversation with your wife and was able to be completely honest with her. As a wife who left a 10 year marriage based on lies, I beg you, be honest with her and as emotionally raw as you have ever been. Do not worry about her seeing you as weak or dishonest. I assure you, all she will see is that you genuinely want to make this situation right and that you love her totally and completely. I know you are scared of the decision she will make once she knows the full extent of the financial mess and the information you have hid from her, but it is a decision she will have to make and saving your marriage is only possible if she has all the information when she makes her decision. I trust all you have said about her being a good woman who deserves better than the pain you are bringing to her in this marriage where you have created a mess of your life. IF you truly believe she deserves better, be better and be the man she deserves by talking openly with her and start by telling her how much she means to you and that, while this conversation is going to be hard for both of you, you want it to be a starting point of a better, stronger marriage and want to only be honest with her moving forward.
I pray you have been able to talk with her and pray that through the pain, disappointment, and anger that she will remember how much she loves you and will begin moving forward with you into a stronger marriage.