I would have a very candid heart-to-heart chat with her first. Apologize for not seeing her ADHD and learning disability. Explain to her that it looked like laziness, because you didn’t know any different. Let her know you thought you were helping her by pushing her, but now you know it was hurtful — that you’d change it if you could. This could go a long way toward starting to heal your relationship.
Then, I’d tell her that your 1,000% on board to help her and support her differences and needs in any way you can. Ask her what she thinks you can do to help. Continue to show her that you’re in her corner and on her side.
Most importantly, nurture her strengths and interests to build her self-esteem. Here are some ideas for that:
ADDitude Community Moderator, Author & Mentor on Parenting ADHD, Mom to teen w/ ADHD, LDs, and autism