Reply To: how do I stop beating myself up and start building myself up?

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#54374
cherokeejay
Participant

Not an expert and I do not have ADD or ADHD as it’s is now labeled but maybe just start by accepting the diagnosis. My spouse and my daughter have ADHD. I have a different disability. My disability was diagnosed as something else when I was 10 and properly diagnosed in my mid 20’s. I was very much in denial of the proper diagnosis because there is no known cause and no known cure. Just symptoms of varying degrees that come and go, mild in some debilitating in others. I looked for tons of other possible causes before accepting the diagnosis and it’s progression into something that altered my life significantly. I railed against it and the unfairness of it for a long time. I still have the ‘it’s no fair’ and ‘I hate my life like this’ days. I cannot change it though. I can only fight it or accept it. I can only move forward if I accept it and then proceed to deal with it. I treat what I can. I find work arounds for I can’t. It’s a part of me, of who I am. I can’t choose it. So there is No sense in berating myself for being me. I cannot offer much in the way of ADHD advice my daughter is newly diagnosed and though I have suspected it in my husband for a long time he is just now accepting it as a reality in his life. His way of dealing with that tendency to be late or put things off was to train himself to be compulsively early for appoints, however, it does not apply to his motivation and his ability to self motivate is awful. Working from home was the worst choice he ever made because there was no motivation to get to work or go to lunch or get home…in short there was no physically based schedule. For him the changes in location helped him keep his awareness of time. I know it’s not great advice but hope it helps anyway.