Reply To: Newly diagnosed at 40 – bittersweet

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Dear kakowskey,
My therapist also made the suggestion to me, based on a lack of “executive functioning” skills. It was during couple’s counseling when my husband was talking/complaining about my inability to plan ahead, constantly being late & frazzled when we go out & esp. getting ready for a trip or party. Ugh, I felt so bad & guilty & down & depressed.

Well, my 23 yr. old son had gotten the Quotient testing. The results came back positive for him; a very detailed report that shows inattentivess, body movements, heart rate, etc.

So I made it a goal to have the test before getting any treatment (tx). The test only takes 1/2 hour.

Mine came back positive also. I was sad, angry and upset. If only I had known!! I made so many mistakes. My career would have gone so much better. I would have been a better Mom. I would’ve learned how to not be late all the time. On & on with regrets galore. Very bad at first, I felt horribly upset.

Then I realized I just had to figure out how to deal with it.

In researching tx, I discovered that Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) has been shown to be AT LEAST IF NOT MORE EFFECTIVE THAN MEDICATION AT LEARNING TO HANDLE ADHD SYMPTOMS!!!!

This knowledge was a turning point for me. I was already familiar with CBT. It is a method of gaining control of emotional reactions, learning to communicate more clearly, and move forward with your attitude in life.

So I am enrolled in a course that incorporates both CBT and time management skills- to help with the executive function department of the brain. The course also helps students try meditation, which thickens the frontal cortex (executive function). No medication needed!!!!

I am 58 years old and have been treated for clinical depression since 1995. I don’t want new drugs. I want to learn to use my mind and will to respond to this diagnosis. At this point I have medication for depression; mood stability; anxiety prn; and restless leg syndrome. That’s enough.

I now keep a journal with lists in it; calendar my appointments with phone alerts and travel time included; a visual calendar; and a written list for my budget. It is helping me to organize.

You can go for it too!!

Re husband:
My husband is understanding of my pain & suffering, but he is not an empathetic individual. He just wants me to “be in a good mood”. So I don’t talk to him about it. I talk to my girlfriends and sisters. And therapists. And if he reminds me about something I try to take it in the spirit in which he means it. Even though it might make me feel bad.

Please write and let us all know how you are doing. Take care & don’t beat yourself up. Instead, sit down each evening and write a list:

“What I Got Done Today:

Task: Completed? Yes/No Good Job?? Yes/No

and you will begin to see how productive you really are. 🙂

  • This reply was modified 4 years, 4 months ago by LauraG.
  • This reply was modified 4 years, 4 months ago by Penny Williams.