I am so sorry to hear this. Of course your wife will be devastated and angry. Let her work through her feelings without getting defensive. I would recommend that you give her total control of the finances if she will stay with you. She may love you dearly but has a right to fear about her future as well as your sons. You two are not kids anymore and don’t have lots of time to earn it all back. Therefore, be an open book and hand all the financial responsibility over to here and support her in every way you can. I went thru something similar with my spouse and this is how we solved it. Best of luck to you both!