I’m really confused how you say: “I couldn’t face going to interviews and entering another environment that I couldn’t cope with, I just cant do it any more. I have completely unraveled.”… I love new work environments, and most ADHD people feel the same. You also say you fear your wife’s response when she finds everything out. I can’t keep a secret from anyone, I’m just so enticed to deliver such news as someone’s mother had died. When it comes to conflict, I don’t fear it; because quite honestly I don’t think at all before I say anything.
I see time and time again how even the best of doctors keep confusing ADHD with Aspergers Disorder. I want to confess to you that all your symptoms are at the very least MORE related to Aspergers than they are to ADHD. You are getting very apprehensive over matters that most ADHD people would forget about. Reading your writing style, its very organized and follows a straight line of thought, common to Aspergers and not ADHD (just take a look at other rants on this site and see how they’re so all over the place that you just get lost in words: that’s how an ADHD rants!).
My best advice: get reevaluated by another psych that specializes in Autism to verify what you have is ADHD or Aspergers.
Hope this helps!