Reply To: Can my boyfriend get better or shall I leave him?

Home Welcome to the ADDitude Forums For Spouses & Loved Ones Can my boyfriend get better or shall I leave him? Reply To: Can my boyfriend get better or shall I leave him?


I’m not really sure get better is the right phrase. I think thing one would be getting him off of the cannabis. It sounds like, if he truly is ADHD, he also has a co-morbid of bipolar and/or Asperger’s. Since he was just recently diagnosed, he probably will never get a proper diagnosis if there is some Asperger’s going on in there. Without the proper treatment, there will be some improvement but not necessarily a lot. Now, should you leave him? Ultimately that is up to you, just realize that you will go through this probably for the rest of your life, not to scare you. My brother in law is actually very similar to what you described (diagnosed ADHD with bipolar) and there are good time. Just realize, there will probably be times he will act like a child and it will drive you crazy. If you do decide to stay with him, I recommend finding a group of ladies that you can hang out with and talk openly with or some sort of support group, there are free ones online that are totally anonymous. It is very easy to feel like you are going crazy without being able to share your problems with people you trust and/or people who understand. Since I live with my sister and brother in law, I serve as her reassurance that she’s not being overly critical and what we see really is there. She also has a group of ladies through church that she likes to hang out with that gives her an outside view on the situation. If he will listen (because brother in law won’t) see if you can get him to see a psychiatrist, or you guys in couples therapy. It does seem to help sometimes with someone of that personality type to have kind of a mediator. If at any point you fear for your safety, leave, don’t look back. Emotional outbursts are one thing, but if they turn violent that has to be it. If you feel like it’s taking too much of a toll on you emotionally, keep leaving as an option. Sometimes just a weekend get away with the girls will help you recharge, and sometimes it’s really too much. If it seems to be going down the too much path, leave. I know it will be hard, especially with the good times, but you’re health and safety has to come first.