My worst times were Christmas at the office. No-one ever asked me to any functions and so when work finished early December 24, I used to retreat to the public library and read one of my favourite reference books – trains at war. One year I actually went to the movies alone then went home. Although it was supposed to be a festive joyous time, it was the same as any other day for me and I would wander home alone whenever. I am a teetotaller, I never knew any funny stories, and my network of work contacts after 20 years was zero. I got used to it, but it still hurt.