Reply To: Feeling like I dont fit in

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#52459
anomalocaris
Participant

I’ve never fit in either, and I know it’s because ADD makes socializing with normal people almost impossible. Some time ago, though, I realized that I basically have a choice. ADD is MY problem, not other people’s. I can’t expect others to constantly accommodate or make excuses for me. I know what socially acceptable behavior is, and I know that some of it is difficult and exhausting for someone with ADD, so my choice is, I can stay very alert to my own behavior, or I can decide not to socialize. So, in professional settings I constantly monitor. Am I talking too much? Getting stuck on one track? Interrupting other people? Tuning out and looking bored when others are speaking> All of these behaviors are perceived by “normal” people as rude, and they’re right, whether I intended them that way or not. The fact that I have ADD doesn’t give me a pass on basic courtesy. In professional settings, it’s worth the extra effort to me, to be seen as competent and professional. But outside of professional settings it’s not worth the energy that constant monitoring takes, so I don’t socialize. It really helped my frustration level when I began taking that approach. But I also get that it’s a “tough love” approach that not everyone is going to be comfortable with. I just figure I have the right to apply tough love techniques to myself and it works for me 🙂