In terms of learning patience and optimism – I’m very impatient. It sounds like you are too. A lot of people with ADHD are. I’ve started going to a free group for families with ADHD/substance abuse problems (ADHD is linked to substance abuse) at my local church where we learn to turn our impatience over, say a quick prayer to the universe, and let go of self-will. It helps me be patient. I suggest you try out a group of some sort like that for parents/families – AA is free and worldwide, there are free anxiety groups, self-esteem groups, etc – to help you work through your feelings of shame.
You want your son to be successful NOW – he’s so young! It’s up to God to decide when your son’s talents will surface – not up to you. The harder you try to GET your son through college and high school, compensate for his ADHD, organize his life for him, the more damage you will cause to yourself, him, and your mother/son relationship without realizing it – I saw this in my family – but thankfully my ADHD brother is starting college in September and he never finished high school!
I wish you luck!