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Relationships are hard. Relationships with ADHD are even harder.
It sounds to me like your focus on thinking you’ve let your partner down is what leads to relationship problems. Your partner may be more understanding than you are with yourself, and not feel like you’ve let him down at all. Communication is key for relationships with ADHD:
ADDitude Community Moderator, Author & Mentor on Parenting ADHD, Mom to teen w/ ADHD, LDs, and autism