Reply To: Concern for my 14 year old son and his isolation

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#52113
Shirokuma
Participant

Hello,
I am diagnosed with ADHD and ASD. In my teenage years I never really had friends and like your son I was addicted to the cyber net by games and youtube.
Many times my parents kicked me out of the house to play outside and dropped me at parties. When I entered those parties I walked a circle and eventually went outside to sit on a bench waiting till my parents pick me up again.
Because I got forced to socialize I got more and more the feeling that I was defective, mentally crazy or just stupid.
When I was 16 years old and could get a student-job I loved it. But also there when there was a barbecue party I just went alone and didn’t speak with anyone.
Eventually after graduating school and when I got a full time job Work became an obsession. I loved it, but also there I hated social events.
Now with learning that I have ADHD and ASD it makes me realize, I DON’T need to act like I am social.
I can be an amazing employee, have a happy life and don’t need to act like someone I am not.
Eventually I got married by somebody who also doesn’t like social situations.
There are still a lot of things I need to figure out about my disorder.
My mind works different, I like mechanical things more then humans, I like plants, trees, insects, animals more then humans.
I wasted many years behind youtube and games and the only regret I have is not spending it outside (alone) in nature and creating stuff.
My strong point are mechanical inside, I feel very well how machines work. This helped me very well as a train driver where I was working alone and needed to repair complicated systems.

Summery:
I wouldn’t advice you to force him to socialize. It makes him feel more different than he actually is.
Find his strong points and let him become amazing at those things. This makes him feel more confident instead of insecure.
It would also help him with future jobs where he wouldn’t need to be that social