wow this is me. I always thought i was shy but couldn’t understand why sometimes i loved/needed to be around other people. And then sometimes i would feel bad about myself after certain social interactions. and sometimes totally dread running into people i know (or don’t) on the street and have to engage in chit chat. And then other times i’m totally outgoing and love any kind of interaction. I can never reconcile these feelings but it sounds consistent with what you have talked about above.