Reply To: New to dating a guy with ADHD – Need advice

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#51495
anomalocaris
Participant

Two points:

1. Understand that your partner with ADD is an adult with ADD — NOT a child — and treat hims accordingly.

2. Avoid the badgering thing that “normal” people constantly do to those of us with ADD. If you ask him a question and he says, “I don’t know,” it means he doesn’t know. Asking the same question thirty times in different ways isn’t going to change that, regardless of the fact that you think he should know the answer. In fact, the information retrieval issues with ADD are worse under pressure so the more you badger, the less likely he is to come up with the information. Typical example:

You were there last week. Can you give me directions?
Sorry… I don’t remember how we got there.
Well… was it THIS side of the highway, or the other?”
I don’t know… I just told you I don’t remember how we got there.
Well, did you turn off before 14th street or after?
GAAAAAAGH!!!!