Reply To: Making Friends


My son just made 10. He is an only child (adopted) and tries to act adult with us. He comes from very abusive and neglectful family. He has made leaps and bounds in school and in
Boy Scouts. Friends. No friends. He lies, cheats at games, kids just like him because he can do sports well, but he is so lonely. He thinks he is an adult around his peers. He doesn’t play like other kids. He won’t play with all the toys we buy him. When he is invited over to a child’s house, it’s all ways him against them (fierce competition). He has to win. He has to beat everyone at everything. Getting to the car, seat belts, eating, etc… My husband and I have thought of getting another foster child to adopt, but it’s everything we have just to keep him. It’s Summer now so he gets to see some of his school and scout friends at VBS in the mornings, after we have a 30 minutes computer program to help him in Reading and Phonics. He is going into the 4th Grade in August. After that he helps me work on our farm in which he is very impatient and fights me at every turn. He is so impatient to let anyone show him anything. What’s been working a little is: ignoring him and just do what I need to do for the chickens and such, until he is begging me to let him help. I have to go through about an hour plus of his ranting and disgust at how “I won’t let him go, or I won’t let him do anything,” trying his hardest to draw me into a fight. It has been working but it is rough.
Yesterday, after VBS, he got in trouble in a pushing match where “He won!” as he told it. Latter he told us that it was about his shoes. We helped him to understand. Today we will see. Thanks for letting me share. A.